39. Horsemen (2009)

It’s torture to sit through this movie…

3/10
Directed by: Jonas Åkerlund
Written by: Dave Callaham
Starring: Dennis Quaid, Ziyi Zhang and Lou Taylor Pucci

It has been a long time since a good cat-and-mouse thriller has landed in my lap. Horsemen rides in as one of the worst.

There there ... only a few more people have to die.

Detective Aidan Breslin (Quaid) has been called onto a case that keeps inviting him to ‘Come and See’ grotesque horror after horror as the victims of a serial killer are strung up by hooks and exhibited for the viewing pleasure of a cult on the internet. Of course, the leader of this underground angst-ridden cult has dubbed himself the White Horse  – one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse found in Revelations (… the bible). The end is near!

While Horsemen certainly looks like a promising crime thriller, with its cinematography and editing working hand in hand to deliver something as visually surprising and slice’n’dicey as the murders themselves, it fails to produce a clever storyline that is quick and unnerving. In fact, as the film progresses the clues and realizations of Detective Breslin come so easily that we’re able to simply sit back and not feel concerned – even though people are dying in pretty torturous ways. And when we’re finally faced with the big twist at the end of the film, the disappointment is enough to make you want to string the film up by hooks and puncture its heart.

Don’t ride with Horsemen. It’s a torturous one and a half hours that you will never get back.

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