71. Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)

You lied to us… you said it was gonna be good

5/10
Directed by: Michael Bay
Written by: Ehren Kruger
Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley and Tyrese Gibson

OK the trailers didn’t exactly lie to us. Before the release of Transformers: Dark of the Moon, rumours were floating around that the third and final instalment of the Transformers franchise would be better than the second, and from the trailers it seemed like we were guaranteed awesomeness. While the trailers were true to their word about the large scale special effects and robot violence, they failed to mention how unnecessarily long, incoherent and annoying the story is – a minor detail that could have equipped me with more realistic expectations.

Sam Witwhicky (LaBeouf) is now a college graduate, looking for a job that will make him feel as useful as he did to the autobots in the first two movies. But when the return of the Deceptacons becomes clear through systematic killings of humans linked to a conspiracy behind the first moon landing, there are more important things for Sam to deal with than job searching and being possessive of his new girlfriend, Carly (Huntington-Whiteley).

I thought the end of the world would be a lot more compelling than this. Looks cool though.

For one thing, Transformers: Dark of the Moon needs to change its title because while the “dark of the moon” is said a couple of times in the film, it doesn’t end up having any significant bearing on how the story plays out and what the twist is. Ultimately, half the film leads you down the wrong track as Sam tries to piece together the clues and signs that fall in his lap, linked to the moon landing and the past war between autobots and deceptacons. And with robots smashing each other’s brains out and frying human beings into ash towards the end of the film, it feels like too much time was wasted on senseless bickering and shouting amongst humans.

While Transformers: Dark of the Moon mimics some of the action encountered in the first film, it loses too much of the Witwhicky charm and the chance for us to marvel in, not only the technology of the autobots, but the film itself. It lacks the growth of Sam as a hero, his relationship with the autobots, and a kickass woman who doesn’t change shoes every five frames when the world is about to END! CONTINUITY PEOPLE!

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