Killers (2010)

71.

Directed by: Robert Luketic
Written by: Bob DeRosa, Ted Griffin
Starring: Katherine Heigl, Ashton Kutcher and Tom Selleck

Who convinced us to do this movie?

When done right, films can marry the spy genre with romantic comedy – turning the usually serious explosions and gunfire into something you can laugh at, whilst simultaneously winning the hearts of hopeless romantics by centering all the action around a love story. It sounds like a good investment for funding partners in the film biz too, because you’re basically scooping up audiences who might normally be divided on their interests e.g. boyfriends won’t seem so against seeing Mr. and Mrs. Smith, and True Lies? Who doesn’t like True Lies?!

But when done wrong, spy rom coms can cheapen the action, drip with cheesy lines, and waste perfectly capable actors by forcing them self conscious dialogue from a script that has more flaws and holes in logic than bullet holes. Created by the same Robert Luketic who is responsible for The Ugly Truth and Legally Blonde, Katherine Hiegl and Ashton Kutcher team up in this brain-dead rom com that feels like a joke minus the laughs.

InKillers, Jen (Hiegl) thinks she’s hit the jackpot when she runs into Spencer (Kutcher) in Nice. Drawn to his smooth personality and killer body, Jen happily marries Spencer without realizing that Spencer is a lot more mysterious and dangerous than he lets on. In fact, Spencer is an assassin, who has managed to keep his identity undercover for the entire three year duration of their marriage. But when Spencer’s old boss is suddenly killed, and the innocent neighbors and family friends turn out to be undercover assassins who want Spencer dead, the truth is a little harder to cover up.

In many ways, Killers attempts to do what Mr. and Mrs. Smith managed to pull off. By bringing a highly dangerous and usually covert job into the domesticity and security of suburban life, comedy can be cleverly woven into these juxtaposing worlds as violence becomes a way of funnily playing out relationship issues. Killers, however, approaches this humor in a very predictable and unexciting way. While Kutcher and Hiegl manage to play dull, annoying characters with a level of commitment the audience certainly won’t oblige, there’s no hiding the fact that the lines are poorly scripted and the plot poorly structured.

With an ending that will surprise in terms of how predictable and horribly resolved the whole plot is, Killers is an absolute killer. And not the good kind.

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